Quiet - Susan Cain

For a book titled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, to say I was interested in taking a read was an understatement. I have always been a self-professed introvert yet over the past ten years or so this notion has been challenged by others. People are shocked when I tell them this. I’ve learned that introversion and extroversion are a spectrum, and I think I am certainly somewhere in the middle. With the more modern definition that says that it all depends where your energy comes from, my energy does not come from social interactions. Susan Cain’s Quiet touches upon a lot of topics that expand on my introversion and I wanted to share some of those gems.

Many introverts are also highly sensitive, which sounds poetic, but is actually a technical term in psychology. If you are a sensitive sort, then you are more apt than the average person to feel pleasantly overwhelmed by Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata or a well-turned phrase or an act of extraordinary kindness. You may be quicker than others to feel sickened by violence and ugliness, and you likely have a very strong conscience. When you were a child you were probably called shy and to this day feel nervous when you are being evaluated, for example when giving a speech or on a first date. 

So right out of the gate, this spoke to me. I think pleasant overwhelmedness is an understatement related to my experiences with music. There’s rarely a better feeling for me than discovering a new song and even better yet, sharing it with someone else.

Cain then talks about how studies have shown that introverts are more likely to well, be extroverted, online. They are more likely to express intimate facts about themselves, blog to millions, yet have trouble introducing themselves to strangers. This definitely tracks. Some of the strongest social networks I’ve formed were back in the Xbox 360 / Halo 3 days and those were completely online. Also, this blog and my YouTube channel certainly mask my introversion.

On page 81 she talks about the idea of Deliberate Practice, identifying a task or knowledge that is out of reach, and working on the task that is most challenging to you personally. The motivation has to come from within. This takes me back to the organic chemistry days with certain concepts that were getting the better of me. I’d lock myself in a room and just say, “I’m not leaving until I have understood, mastered, and can teach this concept.” That’s deliberate practice. And what Cain says in Quiet is that deliberate practice is best completed alone. And it makes sense when you think about it; you need intense concentration and others can be distracting. “If you want to improve what you’re doing, you have to be the one who generates the move.” She talks about Steve Wozniak as an example; he was deliberately practicing engineering alone since he was a kid. The book also mentions that a predictor for expert performers was “serious study alone” and found in chess grandmasters, athletes, and college students: “College students who tend to study alone learn more over time than those who work in groups.” How very depressing.

Later, Cain talks about open-plan offices… and rakes the concept over the coals. “Open-plan offices, at one point thought to be the next generation of the modern office space, have been shown to reduce productivity, impair memory, increase staff turnover, make people sick, hostile, unmotivated and insecure… increase blood pressure and stress, and it just goes on from there.” Yowza. “Top performers work for companies that give them privacy, personal space, control over their environments, and freedom from interruption.” And there’s more: “Open-plan workers… have fewer personal and confidential conversations with colleagues. They’re often subject to loud and uncontrollable noise, which raises heart rates; releases cortisol (hey, I just wrote a blog about cortisol), the body’s fight-or-flight “stress” hormone; and makes people socially distant, quick to anger, aggressive, and slow to help others.” I mean, if that doesn’t describe an emergency room’s nurse’s station, I don’t know what does.

Cain then talks about how population density is correlated with innovation. She talks about how she was much more productive in a crowded coffee shop vs. at home. She was still able to deliberately practice, just amidst a buzzing coffee shop. She could still control her environment by coming and going as she pleased. It was all about the mere presence of other people. I have personal experience with this. In one of my past jobs, I was so much more productive in the company of others. And just a single other person is all I needed nearby. But once I was working in a space by myself, my productivity plummeted. So I think studying and deliberate practice is different than the relatively low stakes operations of an office job; there’s almost a reverse effect there. So I think it’s about working around someone, not with them. I also worked twice in the lobby area of an office, and found that I was more productive there than in my own private office. A lot of nuance here! The conversation about the workplace continues:

Some companies are starting to understand the value of silence and solitude, and are creating "flexible" open plans that offer a mix of solo workspaces, quiet zones, casual meeting areas, cafés, reading room, computer hubs, and even "streets" where people can chat casually with each other without interrupting others' workflow. At Pixar Animation Studios, the sixteen-acre campus is built around a football-field-sized atrium housing mailboxes, a cafeteria, and even bathrooms. The idea is to encourage as many casual, chance encounters as possible. At the same time, employees are encouraged to make their individual offices, cubicles, desks, and work areas their own and to decorate them as they wish.

If you don’t know, I’m already obsessed with the Pixar workplace, so I loved everything about this. What’s more, when I first walked into the main building of the PA program I plan on attending next year, I was instantly reminded of the atrium on the Pixar campus; it had an open atrium in the center of the building, and even had a café, just like Café Luxo!

Cain then goes on to talk about finding your sweet spot, your place of optimal stimulation. Her example is is lying contently in a hammock reading a great novel; wow does that sound nice. Then she talks about, after a while, being underestimated so you seek out a friend for brunch. I think I’m in my sweet spot right now. I just had some family over so I feel overstimulated. I’m now in my quiet basement, with my smart lights on, in the absolute quiet and feel at peace enough to finish this book review. What’s interesting, though, is that I rarely find a time where I am seeking out additional stimulation; I’ve always been okay with the peace and quiet.

Popularized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the state of “flow” is the optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity. Hours can pass without you noticing. “The key to flow is to pursue an activity for its own sake, not for the rewards it brings.” Probably the most resonant (no pun intended) of all periods of flow for me has to be in authoring a 400-page study guide for organic chemistry, just for the sake of doing it. I don’t think I’ve ever been more devoted to a project, just for the sake of the project, than that. I think that shows that I love both writing and teaching, but really just problem solving and understanding a complex topic to then put it into normal language, is the driving force there.

On page 200, Cain talks about restraint and quotes Gandhi:

I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts. A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen. Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of a votary of truth. We find so many people impatient to talk. All this talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time. My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler. It has allowed me to grow. It has helped me in my discernment of truth.

There’s also a chapter here about comparing Easterners and Westerners (in the world) and the education gaps in science and math. They key, it appears, is what’s called “quiet persistence.” Westerners give up much more quickly than Easterners. We are less patient. It’s all about just throwing your whole self at a concept until you come out the other side with it fully mastered.

Later on page 209, Cain talks about Free Trait Theory, created by professor Brian Little. The idea here is that we do indeed have fixed traits that we are born with, like introversion, but we also have these other free traits. We can act out of character and act like extroverts for “the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” I think this explains how I was able to work as a student leader in college, or tutor a group of students in organic chemistry. I really care about that stuff. This is why I can lecture with such passion in the YouTube videos I create explaining organic chemistry topics; it’s Free Trait Theory!

On 233 Cain talks about the myth that venting sooths anger. It doesn’t; it fuels it. So what do you do when you want to vent? Take a breath. Take a break. Then ask yourself if it’s really worth getting so upset. If the answer is is, then tackle the problem as a conversation and not an attack.

The last section I quoted from my original notes is as follows:

Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Stay home on New Year’s Eve if that’s what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chit chat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story. Make a deal with yourself that you’ll attend a set number of social events in exchange for not feeling guilty when you beg off.

I LOVE this. Had it not been for the tradeoff at the end, it would be a perfect quote. But, I suppose, you can’t completely cut yourself off from the entire world. But normalizing everything else, like staying home on New Year’s Eve; I love that notion. Do what makes you happy, but be honest with yourself, you know? If you want to achieve specific social goals, then set out to do that.

Think Like a Monk - Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk is one of those rare reads that leads to so much more. After now following Jay on Instagram and listening to his podcast, I’m so glad I found his work. Former monk, turned author and life coach, his 2020 release was truly insightful from start to finish and I found myself putting it down every few pages so that I could take notes on another great passage. Here are some takeaways:

On page 35 he writes, “Remember saying whatever we want whenever we want however we want is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.” I think in 2021 this statement could not be any more relevant. I find myself constantly struggling with exercising self-restraint to not always feel like I need to speak my mind.

He talks a lot about fear and constantly asking yourself “Why?” to get to the root of your fear. I’m afraid I won’t get into school. Okay, but why? You want to make more money, to go on vacation, because everyone else is going on vacation because you seek more excitement in your life. So it’s not about money, it’s about being bored.

Then there’s a saying, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows?” How many times have we looked back at a negative event and said “You know, that was one of the best things that has ever happened to me”? Yet how many times do we look at a seemingly positive situation and think the opposite? The time you get from losing a job, for example, can be spent reconnecting with your family or discovering a new passion. Conversely, getting a brand new job that you’re incredibly excited about could turn into two of the worst years of your life.

He then talks about varna (my varna is ‘guide’), your natural talent and passion, and seva, what the universe needs. And when you combine the two, you are living in your dharma, a major theme of the book. He outlines dharma with five characteristics: alive, flow, comfort, consistency, and positivity & growth. This is how you should feel when you are living your dharma. I was introduced to the concept of flow in Bill Burnett and Dave Evans’ Designing Your Life. You feel like you are in your lane, swimming with the current. You don’t feel out of place. It gets better the more you do it. For me, dharma breeds a level of timelessness.

He then talks about waking up early. Ugh. If only.

Eventually, I learned the one infallible trick to successfully getting up earlier: I had to go to sleep earlier. That was it. I’ve spent my entire life pushing the limits of each day, sacrificing tomorrow because I do not want to miss out on today. But once I finally let that go and started going to sleep earlier, waking up at four became easier and easier. And as it became easier, I found that I could do it without the help of anyone or anything besides my own body and the natural world around it.

“We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic. But what it is is a profound failure of self-respect and of priorities.” -Maria Popova

If there’s one thing I’d like to master in life, it’s probably waking up early. It’s just so difficult. I’m even struggling to go to bed without having my phone nearby. I feel like I don’t want the day to end. What did I even accomplish today? I can still squeeze in a little bit of this, or a little bit of that. But I’m just robbing myself of sleep. And hours I’m spending now can still be spent tomorrow. Bob Iger touches upon rising early in The Ride of a Lifetime. Jay later talks about the energies of your living space.

In the world outside an ashram, to watch Netflix and or eat in your bedroom is to confuse the energy of that space. If you bring those energies to your bedroom, it becomes harder to sleep there. Even in the tiniest apartment you can dedicate spaces to different activities. Every home should have a place to eat. A place to sleep. A sacred place that helps you feel calm and spaced it feels comforting when you are angry. Create spaces that bring you the energy that matches your intention. A bedroom should have few distractions, calm colors, soft lighting. Ideally it should not contain your workspace. Meanwhile, a workspace should be well lit, uncluttered and functional with art that inspires you.

This is wild. I try my best to make my desk a dedicated study space, but when you are studying on a gaming PC, that can be challenging. I’m trying to envision my perfect study workspace for PA school. The challenge I have now is that it can be difficult to study underground (I live in a basement). I find myself finding spaces upstairs in my house, despite the distractions from my family, because the basement becomes depressing. Yet, I’ve managed a tremendous amount of productivity from my desk. I’ve exhaustively searched for the perfect keyboard, monitor, and mouse to make my desk functional. These little details for me are very conducive to productivity; my workspace is very purposeful. I spent a lot of time studying solo at a coworking space in Doylestown, but I think my most groundbreaking learning happened downtown on campus at Jefferson. Being in an academic setting, surrounded by other learners with this come-and-go and chance encounter mindset, in these large meeting rooms with floor-to-ceiling whiteboards is the perfect environment for me. It was very Pixar-esque. Even in the same room, we were individually studying but available to each other to bounce ideas off of each other and for support.

As far as mixing energies in the bedroom, that can be very tough, especially considering I have a TV in front of my bed. I have found myself switching to more long-form entertainment like TV shows and movies vs. the mindless scrolling of bite-size TikToks and Instagram stories. I guess that’s a step in the right direction! If only I can bring myself to read before bed.

Speaking of utilizing living spaces, there’s an amazing TikTok account run by a man named Cliff Tan who applies Feng Shui to all sorts of crazy apartments and living spaces.

Surprisingly, Shetty also talks about self-talk. The last book I read, Late Bloomers touched upon this as well. They both mention how referring to yourself by your name can be a powerful tool in seeing yourself objectively. “Sound is powerful, and hearing your own name grabs your attention. Talking yourself through a project or task enhances focus and concentration. Those who do it function more efficiently.”

To contemplate the difference between yourself and your persona, think about the choices you make when you are alone, when there’s nobody to judge you and nobody you’re trying to impress. Only you know whether you choose to meditate or watch Netflix, to take a nap or go for a run, to wear sweatpants or designer threads. Only you know whether you eat a salad or a column of Girl Scout cookies. Reflect on the you who emerges when nobody else is around, no one to impress, no one with something to offer you. That is a glimpse into who you truly are. As the aphorism goes, “You are who you are when no one is watching.” 

I was able to live alone for a couple of years. Luckily, me alone isn’t nearly as messy as I expected. I love his comments on this though. The choices we make when we’re alone are truly an indication of who we are.

He goes on to talk about the “mindless” work that needs to be done around an ashram: cleaning the floors, picking up trash, etc. The purpose behind these tasks, besides the fact that someone has to do them, is to prevent us from getting big-headed. Some tasks can build competence while others build character. “The brainless activities annoyed me, but eventually I learned that doing an activity that was mentally unchallenging freed space for reflection and introspection and was worthwhile after all.” I can relate to this a lot. It’s hard at 32 being an ER tech and having to do tasks like stocking rooms or taking out laundry, but I also get to do a lot of other really cool and rewarding things like EKGs and CPR. As an introvert, I can use the more mundane tasks to recharge a bit. I also take pride in what I do. It’s very rewarding to clean up an entire department over 12 hours, or find the best way to do something that’s been done the same way for years.

One of the most powerful messages from this book comes on page 187: detachment.

The monk and I both used the same approach to quiet our egos. We detached from the reaction and became objective observers. We think we're everything we've achieved. We think we're our job. We think we are our home. We think we are our youth and beauty. Recognize that whatever you have--a skill, a lesson, a possession, or a principle--was given to you, and whoever gave it to you received it from someone else. This isn't directly from the Bhagavad Gita, but to summarize how it sees detachment, people often say, "What belongs to you today, belonged to someone yesterday and will be someone else's tomorrow." No matter what you believe in spiritually, when you recognize this, then you see that you're a vessel, an instrument, a caretaker, a channel for the greatest powers in the world. You can thank your teacher and use the gift for a higher purpose. Detachment is liberating. When we aren't defined by our accomplishments, it takes the pressure off. We don't have to be the best. I don't have to be Denmark’s most impressive visiting monk. My teacher doesn't have to see his students sit in stunned wonder at every moment. Detaching inspires gratitude. When we let go of ownership, we realize that all we have done has been with the help of others: parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, books, even the knowledge and skills of someone who is "self-made" have their origins in the work of others.

I can’t really add anything else to that. It speaks for itself.

Another quote I love:

Real greatness is when you use your own achievements to teach others, and they learn how to teach others, and the greatness you’ve accomplished extends exponentially.

The second, and possibly most profound message I got from this book is about gratitude.

Gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self-awareness, better relationships, and a sense of fulfillment. Gratitude journaling reduces intrusive thoughts and helps participants sleep better. Others have given us their time, energy, and love. They have made efforts on our behalf. Gratitude for their kindness is entwined with self-esteem, because if we are worthless, then that would make their generosity toward us worthless too. When you’re present in gratitude, you can’t be anywhere else. We truly can’t focus on positive and negative feelings at the same time. If you’ve been through a breakup, if you’ve lost a loved one, if anything has hit you hard emotionally, gratitude is the answer. The toxic emotions that gratitude blocks contribute to widespread inflammation, which is a precursor to loads of chronic illnesses, including heart disease. Studies show that grateful people not only feel healthier, they’re also more likely to take part in healthy activities and seek care when they’re ill.

“If thankfulness were a drug, it would be the world’s best-selling product with a health maintenance indication for every major organ system.” -Dr. P. Murali Doraiswamy, Duke University.

I had absolutely no idea how powerful gratitude could be. I had someone very close to me who read this book (and recommended it to me) who kept a gratitude journal, and now I see why.

The last message I walked away with from Think Like a Monk is about healing your past before moving forward. I was actually anticipating a tough pill to swallow when Shetty started to talk about relationships and that’s exactly what I got.

Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work… but eventually it will all ooze through and stay in your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.

Once you’ve unpacked your own bags and you’ve healed yourself (mostly) then you’ll come to relationships ready to give. You won’t be looking to them to solve your problems or fill a hole. Nobody completes you. You’re not half. You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to come to a place of giving. Instead of draining anyone else, you’re nourishing them.

So yea, that was all very relevant to me.

The conclusion of the book talks about meditation and death. In terms of meditation, which is a theme throughout the entire book, I walked away with a technique to breathe in through my nose over four seconds, hold for four seconds, and then slowly exhale through my mouth over four seconds. I do this before every shift at work as I walk through the ER doors, and whenever I feel stressed or my heart racing. I’d love to graduate to some of the more advanced techniques Jay outlines.

In terms of death, Jay talks about the common regrets dying people express, among them not expressing love to others, working too much, not taking pleasure in life, and not doing more for other people. He talks about performing a death meditation and asking yourself what you wish you’d done, experiences you wish you had, things and skills you wished you had given more attention to and things you wish you’d detached from. Then he asks you to think about your own funeral. What impact and legacy do you want to be remembered for? And what can you do between now and then to make that happen?

Late Bloomers - Rich Karlgaard

I just finished up Late Bloomers by Rich Karlgaard, a book that was referenced in Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk which I am finishing up.

As I continue on my path at a brand new career at 32, the title alone made me purchase the book. The reference by Shetty:

Putting all of this pressure on people to achieve early is not only stressful, it can actually hinder success. According to Forbes magazine publisher Rich Karlgaard, in his book Late Bloomers, the majority of us don’t hit our stride quite so early, but society’s focus on academic testing, getting into the “right” colleges, and developing and selling an app for millions before you even get your degree (if you don’t drop out to run your multimillion-dollar company) is causing high levels of anxiety and depression not only among those who haven’t conquered the world by age twenty-four, but even among those who’ve already made a significant mark. Many early achievers feel tremendous pressure to maintain that level of performance.

But, as Karlgaard points out, there are plenty of fantastically successful people who hit their strides later in life: The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison’s first novel, wasn’t published until she was thirty-nine. And after a ten-year stint in college and time spent working as a ski instructor, Dietrich Mateschitz was forty before he created blockbuster energy drink company Red Bull. Pay attention, cultivate self-awareness, feed your strengths, and you will nd your way. And once you discover your dharma, pursue it.

So that was enough for me to purchase Late Bloomers. Here are some of the gems I picked up from it.

Christine Hassler's 20 Something Manifesto is an anthology that explores the experiences of young adults, including what she calls the Expectation Hangover.

"It's somewhat terrifying;” said a twenty-five-year-old named Jennifer, "to think about all the things I'm supposed to be doing in order to get somewhere successful: Follow your passions, live your dreams, take risks, network with the right people, find mentors, be financially responsible, volunteer, work, think about or go to grad school, fall in love and maintain personal well-being, mental health and nutrition? When is there time to just be and enjoy?" A twenty-four-year-old from Virginia lamented, "There is pressure to make decisions that will form the foundation for the rest of your life in your 20s. It's almost as if having a range of limited options would be easier."

Right? When do we just stop the hustle and bustle and just live our lives?

Additionally, many self handicappers rely on what psychologists call the tomorrow fantasy. This fantasy is that we will give our full effort tomorrow, down the road, when it suits us. When the time is right, we will give our genuine best which of course will produce success. “I don’t care that much about this project so whatever. But when it’s something I’m passionate about, I’ll work hard at it. Then people will see what I can really do.” This illusion allows us to avoid putting our ability to a true test. Self-handicapping works as a security blanket for fragile egos, but it carries with it the cost of never experiencing true success.

Oof. I’m definitely guilty of this one.

In Chapter 7, he talks about the power of self-doubt. He starts talking about self-talk which particularly caught my attention, especially because I talk to myself all. the. time. Jay Shetty also talks about the benefits of talking to yourself. Here’s what Karlgaard had to say:

Self-talk shapes our relationships with ourselves. We can use it as a tool to gain distance from our experiences, to reflect on our lives. In a sense, when we talk to ourselves, we're trying to see things more objectively. In a world that so overtly favors early bloomers, this level of objectivity can be enormously beneficial for late bloomers. It can help us overcome the negative cultural messages we receive from family, friends and society.

Self-talk is often looked at as just an eccentric quirk, but research has found that it can influence cognition, behavior, and performance. Positive self-talk can improve our performance by helping us regulate our emotions, thoughts, and energy. It can increase our confidence, improve coordination, and enhance focus. Motivating ourselves through positive self-talk works. Whatever our skill level at a particular task, self-talk can help all of us increase our self-efficacy and perform better. The power of self-talk has been conclusively demonstrated in a host of fields beyond sports.

Ethan Kross, director of the Self-Control and Emotion Laboratory (sounds like a very cool place to work) at the University of Michigan, has found that people who speak to themselves as another person, using their own name or the pronoun you perform better in stressful situations than people who use the first-person I. When people think of themselves as another person, it allows them to give themselves objective, helpful feedback. This is because they self-distance, they focus on themselves from the distanced perspective of a third person.

What’s most fascinating here is the use of the term you or your own name vs. using I. It’s about stepping back and viewing yourself as an objective observer. Really powerful stuff considering all of the benefits you get from it.

If we made all our decisions based on the actual odds of success, we’d rarely attempt anything risky or achieve anything significant. The reality is, stories can keep us going because of their inaccuracy.

I don’t even want to look at the acceptance rates for the PA schools I’ll be applying to. They’re not going to change my plans.

In Chapter 9, he talks a lot about grit and persistence:

Grit, or our ability to persist, increases as we age. As this graph shows, persistence, experience, and age go hand-in-hand (the graph shows a “Grit” score on the Y-axis from 3.4-4.0 with an increasing grit score in the age groups of 25-34 (3.45), 35-44 (3.55), 45-54 (3.65), 55-64 (3.7) and 65+ with a staggering 3.95). Angela Duckworth believes the data suggest that our level of persistence increases as we determine our life philosophy, learn to rebound from disappointment, and realize how to tell the difference between low-stakes goals that can be abandoned and higher-stakes goals that demand persistence, all emergent traits of late bloomers.

There’s a big difference between hoping that tomorrow will be better and deciding that tomorrow will be better. The faith that persistent people have, and that we as late bloomers need, has nothing to do with chance and everything to do with intent.

Again, some powerful stuff. This book was so refreshing to read at 32, because it reinforces that nearly everything about life and your power to succeed gets better as you get older.

Later on, there is a passage from author Kimberly Harrington (who published her first book at 50) where she talks about how she was always a late bloomer as a kid, not learning how to ride a bike until she was nine. This struck me instantly as I was the last kid in my friend group to learn how to ride a bike at the age of either nine or ten. I was embarrassed that the other kids would see my dad teaching me on our street. I was left to either run or ride my Razor scooter as the other kids rode their bikes down the hilly drives of our suburban neighborhood. Eventually, my dad’s persistence paid off and I finally learned.

I was also the last to learn how to swim, always having to reserve myself to the shallow end or clinging to the wall for dear life in the deep end. I ended up in group swimming lessons, with kids much younger than me, and then eventually in private swimming lessons. My wonderful instructor Jason from the local YMCA finally had a breakthrough with me and taught me to swim. During a group swimming lesson, Jason gave us an opportunity to yell at the top of our lungs, to show the importance of taking deep breaths. I was shy and barely made an effort when it was my turn, speaking at barely higher than my normal quiet speaking voice. But the time the second round came along, I was mentally prepared. I was ready to give it everything I had. But when it was my turn, as I was taking a deep breath to belt out, he cut me off and said “No contest!” He expected the same from me because I hadn’t tried. I had lost my chance. What an unbelievably important life lesson Jason taught me that day.

My late-blooming continued throughout adolescence and early adulthood. I didn’t hit puberty until the age of 14, right before freshman year. I was one of only two kids who had to ride the bus home as high-school seniors. I was one of the last to get a cell phone, having to call home from the high-school office if I missed the bus. I didn’t learn how to drive until I was 18 and didn’t experience a first kiss or a girlfriend until I was 19. I didn’t try alcohol either until 18. So it sounds like I’m pretty much the poster boy for late-blooming, as I continue my streak and pivot my career in my 30s.

In the final page of Late Bloomers, Karlgaard writes:

My run (he described a personal success story where he ran up and down a mountain, a total of 52 miles in a matter of 7 hours) made me realize that I’m a different kind of person. I’m more driven by curiosity, exploration, discovery, and less by goals, competition, and winning. That’s the path to success I now pursue, whether in business, life, or hobbies. It fuels me, this pursuit of curiosity and exploration. And ultimately, it’s more productive because I never burn out on curiosity. The way I burn out is by pursuing rigid goals on rigid timetables, and by trying to be a fierce competitor only for competition’s sake. The outside world would call me a slacker for that. But I’m not a slacker. I’m simply not wired like early bloomers. And since you’re reading this book, I suspect you aren’t either.

So there it is. And I resonate with that entire final paragraph. When I was in my post-bac I never treated other students as competitors, I treated them as teammates. And yet my grades were my own; that success was my own journey independent of anyone else’s. And I think I’ve always had a burning curiosity for the world around me. The exploration and discovery of why organic chemistry was the way it was, was much more important to me than ensuring I get an A at all costs. I wanted to know why, I wanted to learn, I wanted to enjoy the subject. And enjoy it I did. And that curiosity approach got me an A-.

The Ride of a Lifetime - Bob Iger

Recently I finished reading The Ride of a Lifetime, in Disney World, in fact. I was there just days before it shut down due to the coronavirus. The book was incredible. I’ve read just about every book there is that talks about the founding of Pixar, so I was delighted that there was a whole chapter devoted to Pixar. The details surrounding the Lucasfilm and Marvel acquisitions were equally fascinating. Here are some of my favorite passages from the book.

To this day, I wake nearly every morning at four-fifteen, though now I do it for selfish reasons: to have time to think and read and exercise before the demands of the day take over. Those hours aren’t for everyone, but however you find the time, it’s vital to create space in each day to let your thoughts wander beyond your immediate job responsibilities, to turn things over in your kind in a less pressured, more creative way than is possible once the daily triage kicks in. I’ve come to cherish that time alone each morning, and am certain I’d be less productive and less creative in my work if I didn’t also spend those first hours away from the emails and text messages and phone calls that require so much attention as the day goes on. 

Luckily, I’m a morning person. I can appreciate that quiet time each morning that he mentions here. I just wish I could pull it off on a consistent basis.

It was a big job, and a big title, but it wasn’t my life. My life was with Willow and my boys, with my girls back in New York, with my parents and my sister and my friends. All of this strain was ultimately still about a job, and I vowed to myself to try to keep that in perspective. 

This is a huge philosophy of mine and it’s inspiring to see Bob share the same one. I wrote earlier how this philosophy steered me toward PA over physician.

“A few solid pros are more powerful than dozens of cons,” Steve said. “So what should we do next?” Another lesson: Steve was great at weighing all sides of an issue and not allowing negatives to drown out positives, particularly for things he wanted to accomplish. It was a powerful quality of his.

Bob is quoting Steve Jobs here. They are talking about the Disney / Pixar merger. Throughout the book, Bob talks about some pretty intimate details about what it was like working with Steve throughout his career.

There’s a passage from Ed Catmull’s Creativity Inc. that I think pairs nicely:

When I advocate for protecting the new, then, I am using the word somewhat differently. I am saying that when someone hatches an original idea, it may be ungainly and poorly defined, but it is also the opposite of established and entrenched—and that is precisely what is most exciting about it. If, while in this vulnerable state, it is exposed to naysayers who fail to see its potential or lack the patience to let it evolve, it could be destroyed. Part of our job is to protect the new from people who don't understand that in order for greatness to emerge, there must be phases of not-so-greatness.

Here’s more from Iger:

...there’s not much to be gained from putting additional pressure on the people working on it. Projecting your anxiety into your team is counterproductive. It’s subtle but there’s a difference between communications that you share their stress—that you're in it with them—and communicating that you need them to deliver in order to alleviate your stress.

I’ve seen this countless times in my lifetime. Self-awareness is too important to have a manager without any.

All in all, The Ride of a Lifetime is an enlightening read outlining one of the most interesting careers of our lifetime. As far as leader and CEO, and overall human being, Bob Iger gets it right.